Three short stories

A LITTLE SPICY

A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.

His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied, “Some things you just can’t explain. This morning I was outside milking. As soon as the bucket was filled the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left leg to a pole.

I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right leg to a pole too.

As soon as I finished milking” him again he knocked down the bucket with his with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt.

As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out, well, trust me, some things you just can’t explain!

 

AN OLD MAN

An 80 year old man is having his annual check-up at his doctor’s office.

He says to the doctor, “I’ve never felt better in my whole life. In fact,

I have a 20 year old bride who’s pregnant and having my child. What do you think of that!!!” 

The doctor thinks for a second and then says, “Let me tell you a story.

I know this guy who’s an avid hunter. He never misses a hunting season.

But one day he’s in a hurry to go hunting and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his rifle. So he’s in the woods and suddenly a giant grizzly bear appears out of nowhere. He raises his umbrella, points at the bear, squeezes the handle and the bear drops dead in front of him. 

What do you think of that??”

The old man says, “That’s impossible. Someone else must have shot that bear!” 

“EXACTLY” says the doctor.

 

CARTWHEELING FOR CASH

One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, “Mommy, I got five dollars!”
The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from.

The little girl replied, ”Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree. 

The mother told her daughter, “Don’t you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties.” 

”OOOOhhhh” said the little girl. 

The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, “Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, “Where did you get the ten dollars from?” 

The little girl replied, “Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed.”

The mother replied, “Didn’t I tell you that he is…” 

Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ”Wait Mommy. I tricked him, I didn’t wear any panties today.”