Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

Chinese Philosophy with a touch of humour

December 9, 2010

Chinese Philosophy…

with a touch of humour…

how true!

What Confucious will say today………

When without money, ride bicycle;
When have money, ride exercise machine.

When without money, wish to get married;
When have money, wish to get divorced.

When without money, wife becomes secretary;
When have money, secretary becomes wife

When without money, act like rich man;
When with money, act like poor man.

Man, O Man, never tells the truth:

Says sharemarket is bad but keeps speculating;
Says money is evil but keeps

Says women are trouble-makers but keeps desiring them;
Says high positions are lonely but keeps wanting them.

Says smoking & drinking is bad but keeps partaking;
Says heaven is good but
refused to go.  
In the past, woman gives man their virginity;
Now, woman gives man their newborn baby

In the rural area, chicken calls man awake;
In the cities, man calls for chickens

In the past, famous actresses will not sell their bodies;
Now, actresses will sell their bodies to become famous

What is life about?

At one, YOU are the top priority

10 歲時功課至上
At ten, academic excellence is the top priority

20 歲時春心盪漾
At twenty, getting laid is the top priority

30 歲時職場對抗
At thirty, a good career is top priority

40 歲時身材發胖
At forty, keeping your body in shape is top priority

50 歲時打打麻將
At fifty, beating others at mahjong is top priority

60 歲時老當益壯
At sixty, keeping IT up is top priority

70 常常健忘
At seventy, remembering something is top priority

80 歲時搖搖晃晃
At eighty, moving around is top priority

90 歲時迷失方向
At ninety, knowing directions is top priority

100 歲時掛在牆上
At 100, having your portrait on the wall is top priority!

Wishing you all happiness! Be good!


Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Husbands

December 9, 2010

Released by Society for Prevention

of Cruelty to Husbands. 

Different Phases of a man:

After engagement:      Superman
After Marriage:             Gentleman
After 10 years:                Watchman
After 20 years:              Doberman

There is only one perfect child in the world and every Mother has it.

There is only one perfect wife in the world and every Neighbour has it

——— ——— ———
Man receives telegram:

Wife dead – should be buried or Cremated?
Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

——— ——— ———
Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!

——— ——— ———
Fact of life:

One woman brings you into this world crying &
The other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your Life!



——— ——— ———
Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn’t spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!

——— ——— ———
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said,
“I’ve found a man just like father!”
Mother replied, “So what do you want from me, sympathy?”

 ———— ——— ——— ———

 Prospective husband:

Do you have a book called

“Man, The Master of Women”?

Sales girl:

The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

——— ——— ——— ———   

The world’s thinnest book has only one word written in it:


and the book is titled:

“What Women Want!”


——— ——— ——— ———  

A man who surrenders when he’s WRONG, is HONEST.

A man who surrenders when he’s NOT SURE, is WISE.

 A man who surrenders when he’s RIGHT, is a HUSBAND


——— ——— ——— ———

Girlfriends are like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers are like PIZZAS, Hot and spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands are like Plain RICE, eaten when there`s no choice