Archive for March, 2010

hate if u can’t speak English?

March 28, 2010

hate if u can’t speak English?

There was a Chinese lady married to an English
gentleman and they lived inshosrt story
London. The poor lady was not very proficient in
English, but managed
somehow to communicate with her husband. The
real problem arose whenever
she had to shop for groceries.One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to
buy pork legs. She didn’t
know how to put forward her request, and in
desperation, lifted up her
skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the
message and the lady went
home with pork legs.

The next day, she needed to get chicken
breasts. Again, she didn’t know how
to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to
show the butcher her breast.
The lady got what she wanted.

The third day, the poor lady needed to buy
sausages. She brought her
husband to the store……. … so what did she do?

??

??

??

What are you thinking?

??

??

HellOOOooooooOOOooo , her husband speaks
English laa!!
 

 

 

Short Dialoque

March 28, 2010

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

It means, Without Information, Fighting every time!

Wife: No darling, it means,

With Idiot For Ever


Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,

So I’d be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,

So I could have a new one everyday.

 

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping

Pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you

 

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

Husband: You should have known it the minute

I asked you to marry me.

 

 

Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.

So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?

Husband: For you and your parents

 

Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?

Husband: A lovely Push…!!!
 

 

Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday?

A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again
 

 

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,

You know, I was a fool when I married you.

The husband replied, “Yes dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice 

  

A Sheikh’s son

March 12, 2010

A Sheikh’s son

A Sheikh’s son goes to Germany for study. 

A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying:

“Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but I’m a bit ashamed to arrive to school with my gold Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train.”                                        

Sometime later he gets a letter from his dad with a ten million dollar cheque saying:

“Stop embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too..”

 

Adult only

March 1, 2010

Naughty King

March 1, 2010

 

Naughty King !!

 

Some Good Humour

March 1, 2010

Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves you,
it’s only when you leave her a virgin.

Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror is when girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror is when both are pregnant!
Tragedy is when you are not responsible for both!

The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm

 When mating. Only 10% enters the female.
And you always wondered why the sea tasted salty?

Why is it that a girl looks down when you say I love you?
To see if you really mean it!

Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well you do it today, tomorrow

 You have to do it again with same perfection.

Wives are funny creatures.
They don’t have sex with their husbands for weeks
And then they want to kill the woman who does.

Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic sex.
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.

The stock markets now are like an old man’s dick?
Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone
Is still getting screwed!

This week is Breast Awareness Week.
Spread the slogan …….
“We stare because we care!”

The saddest part of a man’s body is his balls.
The Lord Almighty sentenced them to “Hang Till Death!”

A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in.
He sees a guy leaping out of the window.
Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice!
Husband: Twice? Why didn’t you call me in after he screwed you once?
Wife: Because I thought it was you, until he started the second time.

What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?
Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.

If a bomb bursts in a bra, what would you get?
Tit-Bits.
And if it bursts in a man’s underwear?
Banana split.
 
What’s the difference between a bomb & a condom?
In a bomb blast, population decreases
 BUT in a condom blast, population increases