Archive for May, 2010

If I only had

May 18, 2010

If I only had

A parrot from a brothel

May 17, 2010

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.
There was a sign on the cage that said £50.00.
“Why so little?” she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said,
“Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.”

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway.   She took it home and hung the bird’s cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said,
“New house, new madam.

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought “that’s really not so bad.”

When her two teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them and said,  “New house, new madam, new girls.”

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman’s husband Keith came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said,

 

“Hi Keith.”

Master Key

May 11, 2010

Girl: I have had sex with 4 boys & you have done it with 8 girls,

still everybody calls me a SLUT & calls you a REAL MAN.

 

Please explain.

 BOY: Very simple. When a lock is opened by many keys,

it becomes a BAD  LOCK. But when a key opens many locks,

 it becomes a MASTER KEY!

 

 

 

A pregnant woman

May 6, 2010

A young woman several months pregnant boarded a bus.She noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition.She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.

She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing …. …….. ….She had him arrested.

When the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner.

His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn’t help noticing she was pregnant. She first sat under an advertisement,

Which read: ‘Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins’ .

I was even more amused when she changed her seat and went to sit under a shaving advertisement,

Which read: ‘William’s Stick Did The Trick ‘.

Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement,

Which read: ‘ Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.’

And The case was dismissed… …..!!!